Feasting at The Table: Surviving Infidelity: - A Biblical and Relational Perspective

When we hear the word infidelity we generally think about a romantic relationship between a man and a woman that has gone wrong. 

Either the man cheats on the woman or the woman cheats on the man and this causes chaos in the relationship, and can lead to separation or even divorce.

Infidelity most commonly refers to the action or state of being unfaithful to a spouse.

I know this may be difficult to discuss and only a Lord knows why I am going there today. 

I can only imagine somebody saying,  listen, you don’t know what I’ve been through. He did it once too often. Everybody was calling me a fool for putting up with it. I just could not live with it anymore. I had to get out, it was making me lose my mind. 

Family, even as we reflect or as some of you may be living with an unfaithful spouse right now, I want us to understand that the level of holiness, the standard that God wants us to live by, it’s not normal. 

There is no way, in and of ourselves, that we can face the challenges of life on our own.

It’s something that the world does not understand and does not accept. We absolutely without a doubt need Jesus.

So because the world doesn’t accept this high standard that we must live by, we have so many divorces and separations and break ups and fights in relationships. 

According to statistics, around 33-38% of Christians in the United States experience divorce. The same figure is recorded for the national divorce rate for the general population.

If we only look at this topic from the human perspective, I am pretty sure that our emotions will be in a frenzy. We may even get angry as we think about the disrespect, the shame, and everything that we would’ve lost as a result of being victims in unfaithful relationships.

Note I said relationships, because this conversation can very well extend to parent and child, family member and family member, and friend to friend unions.

But here’s the curveball. Newsflash!

I am not here today to talk to you about your relationship. I would suggest that if you’re in a cheating relationship, that you give it to God. He is more than able to help you.

I want us, rather, to look at this topic, Surviving Infidelity, from a Christian perspective. Because there is always good news when it comes to God, right?! 

We know that when God instituted marriage, He intended for it to be a lifelong, sacred covenant between a man and a woman, reflecting His faithful love and unity.

Genesis 2:18-24 NLT speaks to God deciding that man needed a helper, it was not good for man to be alone. So God took a rib from Adam and made Eve. 

This clearly demonstrated God’s original design for marriage, two people becoming one, exclusively. 

Matthew 19:4-6 underlines that no one has the right to break up what God put together.

““Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’” And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.””

Now let’s go to Ephesians 5:31-32 to understand the concept of infidelity or unfaithfulness when it comes to our Christian lives.

“As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one.”

Here we see the use of marriage to describe the deep and intimate relationship we must have as a body of believers, with Christ. There must be a spiritual connection, symbolized through the unity and oneness of marriage.

This is what God intended. But we see how the devil has tried to twist everything around where there is so much unfaithfulness in our relationships with one another and with God.

As Christians, we must seek daily to be faithful to God. Amen?!

Scripture emphasizes that just as marriage requires total faithfulness and a deep commitment, so does a Christian’s relationship with God. 

Infidelity in marriage, unfaithfulness or breaking the vows, is equal to spiritual infidelity. All of us have been guilty of this. As believers, at one point or another, we turned away from God or compromised our commitment to Him.

When Christians follow other gods, idols, or worldly desires, it is seen as spiritual adultery or unfaithfulness. When we turn away from Christ, it is a betrayal of the sacred covenant relationship between God and His people.

We can refer to Israel’s unfaithfulness to God recorded in the first three chapters of Hosea.

Hosea 1 verse 2 says “When the Lord first began speaking to Israel through Hosea, he said to him, “Go and marry a prostitute, so that some of her children will be conceived in prostitution. This will illustrate how Israel has acted like a prostitute by turning against the Lord and worshiping other gods.”” 

Infidelity, whether in our relationship with God or in human connections, hurts and has consequences. A covenant is a contract, an agreement, a serious commitment. And we go about breaking our covenants like it’s nothing. 

But thank God for Jesus. We can survive infidelity. Hallelujah.

In our relationships with one another, it’s all about having Jesus as the centre.

In a marriage, this can be incredibly challenging. But restoration is possible, healing is possible, through open and honest communication, seeking and granting forgiveness, counseling and support, faith and prayer.

This is a process that must involve both parties.  And that’s why many times it doesn’t work out for the better, because where one person is willing to try, the other is not.

But if both parties are willing, with time, effort, and commitment, trust can be rebuilt. 

Once you survive infidelity, your relationship can be stronger, more committed and more deeply connected.

Wait a minute: Did I say at the beginning that I wasn’t going to be talking to you about your relationships? 

Alright. So back to the relationship that matters most. The bond between God and His children.

The Bible shows that even in our unfaithfulness, God’s love and mercy remain steadfast. So what about us as brothers and sisters, husbands and wives, parent and child?

Here this, in Hosea chapter 3 verse 1 “Then the Lord said to me, “Go and love your wife again, even though she commits adultery with another lover. This will illustrate that the Lord still loves Israel, even though the people have turned to other gods and love to worship them.””

Some of us will say it’s too late for me because the other person is off on a tangent. 

But is anything too hard for God? I’ve been talking to a friend over the past few weeks on the subject of marriage and ministry and we resolved that God remains a very present Help in the time of trouble. That’s a loaded promise. So we keep on praying as we remain faithful to our God.

As Christians, we are called to be pure, to be loyal,  completely devoted and yes faithful to God. It’s hard, but we can do it.

If we continue to be unfaithful by neglecting our relationship with God, we will damage that intimacy and trust that is meant to exist with our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. That covenant relationship will be in jeopardy.

So can we survive infidelity as Christians? Does God forgive and allow us the opportunity to become His faithful followers? The answer is a resounding yes. 

In fact, we have all survived infidelity, being unfaithful to God. We are all here right? So as grateful survivors, how can we ensure that we remain faithful to God?

Matthew 5:37 teaches the importance of integrity, urging us to let our “Yes” be “Yes,” and our “No,” “No.”

Deuteronomy 6:5 encourages wholehearted devotion to God.

Joshua 24:14 admonishes us to fear the Lord and serve Him with all faithfulness. 

1 Corinthians 4:2 reminds us of our responsibility to be faithful stewards of what God has entrusted us with, and that includes our relationship with Him and our relationship with others.

And Revelation 2:10 encourages us to remain faithful to God even in the face of trials or persecution. Why? We will be rewarded with eternal life.

God does not abandon us when we stray, but invites us back into relationship, offering forgiveness and restoration. The Great God of the universe issues that invitation to us. So why are we as mere mortals so quick to give up on someone because they are unfaithful to us?

The Apostle Paul reaffirms in 2 Timothy 2:13, “If we are faithless, He (God) remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself.” 

Will we be faithful to God today with our time, talent and treasure, with our lives? 

Family, the choice is ours.

aub - 16 October 2024

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