When Christians Hurt Each Other: Healing from Church Wounds. How to forgive, stay connected, and avoid spiritual bitterness.

When Christians hurt each other, the pain cuts deep because the place we expect safety becomes a source of sorrow. 

Church wounds are some of the hardest to heal, not because God fails us, but because people—flawed and broken—often misrepresent Him. 

In today’s world, “church” doesn’t only mean a building. It can mean a denomination, a fellowship, a ministry team, or even an online faith community. Wherever two or more are gathered in Christ’s name, there is a form of church. 

And wherever people gather, hurt can happen.

Sometimes it’s subtle—a dismissive word, a judgmental glance, a missed opportunity to care. Other times, it’s devastating—betrayal, exclusion, spiritual manipulation. 

These wounds leave many disillusioned and disconnected, wondering how to reconcile their faith with their pain. 

As Christians, we have to know that healing is not only possible—it’s God’s desire.

The Bible doesn’t hide the reality of church hurt. Paul and Barnabas, once ministry partners, had such a sharp disagreement that they parted ways. 

Acts 15:39 (NLT) says, “Their disagreement was so sharp that they separated. Barnabas took John Mark with him and sailed for Cyprus.” 

Even leaders can clash, even the faithful can fail. But God still used both men mightily after the split.

So church hurt isn't new. It is unfortunate it is still so prevalent but this is one of Satan’s tactics to divide the Body of Christ and the sooner we understand that it’s the better positioned we can be to resist falling into that trap.

We know about Joseph. He was sold into slavery by his own brothers, who were meant to be his protectors. Years later, when power was in his hands, Joseph didn't seek revenge. 

Genesis 50:20 (NLT) records his powerful words: “You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.” 

Joseph didn't deny the harm. He didn’t pretend it didn’t happen. But he saw the higher purpose and responded with mercy. 

That’s the posture God invites us to take—not denial, but divine perspective.

And guess what plays a central role in this journey? That’s right! Forgiveness.

And it’s not just about saying “I forgive you” and moving on. True forgiveness is a process. It is sustained by intentional action, not just emotional release. 

In Colossians 3:13 (NLT), Paul exhorts the believers: “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” 

That word must isn’t optional. It’s a call to align with God’s heart, even when our own is broken.

Forgiveness is modeled after God’s forgiveness toward us. He doesn’t just wipe the slate clean with words—He restores us into relationship. He redeems our mess, clothes us in righteousness, and calls us beloved. God doesn't just tolerate us; He embraces us. 

Ephesians 4:32 (NLT) says, “Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”

And that Family, is the blueprint—tenderheartedness, kindness, and a willingness to extend what we’ve received. 

If we’ve truly experienced God’s grace, it should transform how we give grace to others. Anything else is simply fake.

Of course, that doesn’t mean we ignore accountability or skip over pain. Forgiveness and wisdom can walk together. 

Sometimes the relationship won’t be restored exactly as it was. Trust might need to be rebuilt over time. Boundaries may be necessary. 

But forgiveness sets us free. It releases us from carrying poison meant for someone else.

In 2 Timothy 4:16-17 (NLT), Paul recounts his own abandonment: “The first time I was brought before the judge, no one came with me. Everyone abandoned me. May it not be counted against them. But the Lord stood with me and gave me strength…” 

So, people may leave us. They may betray or misunderstand us. But glory to God, it is so comforting to know that the Lord stands with us. He sees. He strengthens. And He heals.

And here’s another important point: pretending nothing happened doesn’t bring healing. You know what we have to do: walk through that pain with Jesus, letting Him tend the bruises and teach us to love again. I’m right there.

If we remain bitter, it might feel like protection, but really it’s a prison. 

Hebrews 12:15 (NLT) warns: “Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.” 

Left unchecked, bitterness doesn’t just affect you—it spreads. It corrupts your joy, your trust, your community. 

But hallelujah: grace restores.

So I know it’s not if, but many of us have been hurt by church people. And remember the definition we gave earlier for the church - anywhere two and three are gathered in God’s Name.

If this is you this morning, step outside of that trap. Don’t let the enemy keep you in that web. Forgive, restore, move on. Don’t let your pain imprison you and cause you to lose out on the gift of love.

God is not blind to the hurt and pain you’ve experienced. Know that healing is not found in isolation. Restoration happens in connection with God and with others. 

That’s a word for me today!

Psalm 147:3 (NLT) declares, “He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.” 

Family, God’s hands are not too short to reach the deep places. His Spirit is not weak. He can mend what’s been torn.

Don’t give up on God because of people. Don’t give up on community because of one broken space. Let God lead you through forgiveness—not just for their sake, but for yours. 

And as He restores you, He will use your story to help someone else heal.

That’s the power of the wounded who is healed. That’s the heart of the Church. 

aub - 23May25

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